Tucson, Arizona – Astronomers at the University of Arizona have dubbed a new observation – the “chaos cloud.” Discovered by the Kepler Space Telescope on March 1, the swirling, 10 million kilometer wide cosmic cloud has been likened to nothing ever seen before.

Although measurements are preliminary, astronomers said the cloud would sweep through Earth at approximately 09:15:30.1 GMT on June 14, 2013.

“The good news is that this finding confirms several leading-edge concepts in theoretical physics,” announced Dr. Adelbert de Casselum, a Tucson based astrophysicist with close ties to NASA, ESA, and JIRI but not affiliated with the University of Arizona.

Experts believe the chaos cloud is composed of particles spawned in or near the event horizon of a black hole (as a form of so-called Hawking Radiation), which have been distorted by chaotic information spewed from the hole. “It’s a super-massive black hole that lies about 28,987 light-years from Earth – near the center of our galaxy,” explained Dr. de la Casellum. “Last year the eminent physicist Stephen Hawking revised his famous theory of black holes – which previously held that nothing could escape the hole’s powerful gravitational field. He demonstrated that information about objects that have been sucked-in or near-to the event horizon can be emitted forth in mangled form.”

“It now appears that mangled information can distort actual matter. Just imagine if our galaxy the Milky Way was a beautiful, handwritten, flowingly calligraphed, ink-based letter. Now imagine pouring a glass of water on the paper and watching the words dissolve as the stain spreads. That’s what the chaos cloud does to every star or planet it encounters,” said Casseltum.

“That could be the bad news, although several leading string theorists are preparing papers that indicate this is all happening because of a disturbance in an alternate universe (11th dimension or thereabouts), and that the chaos cloud will slip back into its own universe before 2015. This could be the really good news,” said Dr. DaCasa.

The one astronomer available at UA noted that “This was an exceptionally good time to start a long sabbatical.”

Further information may be obtained from the Dr. Case’s secretary from 11-12AM Tuesdays.
The original study was funded by NASA.