- What did the microbiologist give his biologist girlfriend for her birthday?
Designer genes, of course. You were expecting flowers?

- An English major taking his biology exam referred to a microtome as an ‘itsy bitsy book.’

- Most microbiologists are well travelled people of many cultures.

- Most microbiology labs have a special room designated “Staph Only”

- How many fruit flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Can’t count them. We turn the lights out for privacy.

- How many biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Most of them can’t tell one dim bulb from another.

- One student’s exam called a hybrid screen “bait” and “pray”
I marked it OK.

- One very tired biologist thought he could explain neurotransmission with cellular phones.

- The next paper for a bacteriologist always needs the germ of an idea.

- A marriage between biologists is only a lab rat’s way of making another lab rat.